NH7

When you return from a metal gig (or in this case, the Salt Water Creek Festival) with a sore neck and back, and aunty-mummy-type people ask you why you do this to yourself, there's no answer that will really seem logical to them. Headbanging and moshing come as naturally to metalheads as duckfaces come to teenage girls. What you can explain to the aunties, however, is how to headbang. Not even a how-to, really, more like... guidelines.

It's best to begin by standing with your feet apart, to keep your balance intact.

Step 2: Move. A lot. You'll know you're doing it right when your spine and neck ache unbearably, but, miraculously, you either don't care or don't notice till much later.

So does air-drumming. Anything goes, really. Except, y'know, the waltz, or those skanky dubstep moves those crazy kids are doing these days. What's that all about?

If you have to think about it, you're doing it wrong.

Black tees aren't mandatory, but most people wear them anyway. You can be different. Wear anything you like.

Except pink.

... aren't mandatory either, but it looks pretty darn impressive.

Stop getting haircuts. Unless your college/profession requires you to.

Long hair just makes the process much more impressive-looking. Which is why more girls should headbang, and, y'know, show up to metal gigs. XX chromosome represent!

We can't teach you how to act at a metal gig. This is merely an illustration of what we've seen people do. You are a unique snowflake, and you do whatever you want. Though if you try to waltz your way through a mosh pit... dude, you'll get pounded into the ground.