In this week’s edition of Movie Montage, we bring you a manly set of films that includes the spawn of the devil, a chainsaw-wielding maniac, Arnie, two dumbasses, and 12 angry men.
As the weekend fast approaches, shed yourself of your work attire, don your weekend lazy-pants, and cook up some popcorn… it’s time for Movie Montage, The Weekend Film Guide. We help satiate all your film cravings, queries and confusions to ease you into the ultimate debate of, “What should I watch this weekend?”
DIRECTOR: Mark AZ Dippe
CAST: Michael Jai White, John Leguizamo, Martin Sheen
PLOT: A corrupt assassin is betrayed and murdered by his boss only to be sent to hell and offered a chance to come back to earth as a soldier of the Devil called Hellspawn, or Spawn for short. Fact: Michael Jai White is the first black comic book superhero to star in a movie.
The film is based on the comic of the same name and honestly, whether you’ve read the comic or have never heard of it in your life, Spawn is a priceless bloke movie. All action and brawn, no brain work required. Storyline is pretty basic – the lead character gets back-stabbed and goes straight to hell to become one of the devil’s foot soldiers for a mission to get living souls on the path to damnation. However, this particular Spawn is a reluctant one. Oh, such fun.
Although the special effects probably look pretty crude now, one particular awesomeness is his suit – made of necroplasm that is a living entity, with a cape, balls and chains (#kinky) which Spawn can control using his mind). Sounds eeky, but looks insane.
What really takes the cake in this movie is the comic/evil brilliance of John Leguizamo (of Carlito’s Way, Romeo + Juliet, Moulin Rouge and Ice Age) as the clown. The whole film is his comedy showreel. He has some killer lines in it like, ”Spawnie, Spawnie, he’s our man, if he can’t kill ‘em, no one can. Yay, Spawnie! S to the P to the A to the AWN, S to the P to the A to the AWN. Go, Spawnie, go Spawnie.”
This film is just pure cult with it’s gooey hell creatures, vengeful storyline and mindless violence. Watch it.
Look out for: When Spawn starts using his fiery cape, balls, and chains. An epic OST featuring the cream of metal, alt-rock, and big beat royalty – Metallica, Marilyn Manson, Korn, Prodigy, Mansun, The Crystal Method, and Butthole Surfers.
Check out the trailer below
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
DIRECTOR: Tobe Hooper
CAST: Marilyn Burns, Paul A Partain, Allan Danziger, Gunnar Hansen
PLOT: Five friends go to visit their grandfather’s house and are hunted down by a chainsaw weilding murderer, and his family of cannibals.
WARNING: This movie contains brutality, sadism, dismemberment, a chainsaw, some unsuspecting college kids, a creepy hitchhiker, unfriendly neighbours, cannibals, a mask made of skin (ie. Leatherface) and meathooks. This does seem like a film you wouldn’t want to put yourself through, but at the same time enough of a temptation for you to want to satiate your curiosity.
More than ‘scary’, this movie just crawls under your skin and gives you the creeps. TTCM is not a fast-paced film, rather it grows on you, inching it’s way up your spine with a hair-raising tingle. And yet, this film isn’t even as bloody or gory as you might suspect. Tobe Hooper builds that tension and suspense in the first half and then it moves into full-blown running, screaming, chasing, and in your face horror in the later half.
It’s more likely that people have seen the newer version rather than the original independent horror film of the ’70s. However, this is a horror that though dated is worth watching just to understand how cult it is.
Look out for: The scene where they pick up a creepy hitchhiker.
Check out the trailer for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre below.
Total Recall (1990)
DIRECTOR: Paul Verhoeven
CAST: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sharon Stone
PLOT: A construction worker finds out that his entire memory is actually a chip implanted in his brain and his real identity was as a secret agent who had become a threat to the government. So he goes on a mission to Mars to piece together his past and find the man who was responsible for his implanted memory.
A girl with three boobs. And midgets. That’s all I got to say.
Look out for: “Give these people air” and “Home in time for cornflakes” (oh, and by the way there is a remake of Total Recall coming out this year starring Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Bill Nighy, and Ethan Hawke).
Check out the trailer below.
A Night at the Roxbury (1998)
DIRECTOR: John Fortenbury
CAST: Will Farrell, Chris Kattan
PLOT: Two dumbass brothers dream of owning their own nightclub. Or at least getting into the hottest club – The Roxbury.
Any Will Farrell film is a treat. You just look at his face and you burst into fits and giggles. Like Undercover Brother, Talladega Nights, Anchorman, Zoolander, Superbad, Joe’s Apartment, and other entertaining comedy films, this requires -17% brain activity and 200% bellyache from excessive laughter.
The best brothers ever. The two characters are Farrell and Kattan’s routine on Saturday Night Live that they bring to life for this movie. They’re basically big losers – intelligence is zero, social skills zilch – and though they try very hard to attract those of the opposite sex, it usually is a complete failure.
Spandex, tight shirts, shoulder pads, tiger print, silky shirts, and disco – things that were pretty uncool from the ’90s, just seem so poetically kvlt in A Night at the Roxbury.
Look out for: The head-bob dance to ‘What is Love’
Here is the trailer below.
12 Angry Men (1957)
DIRECTOR: Sidney Lumet
CAST: Henry Fonda, Lee J Cobb, Martin Balsam
PLOT: Thanks to one opposing jury member, an indisputable case for murder is not as obviously clear as it seemed in court.
For all those who fancy seeing a movie that is intelligent, insightful and a perfectly packaged drama, here is Sidney Lumet’s critically acclaimed film, 12 Angry Men. It takes place in one room, where a 12 member jury discusses the fate of a young, poor, Spanish-American kid who is convicted for his father’s murder. If found guilty, he will be sentenced to death.
This may be a film from the ’50s but it is far from dated. Driven by the characters and their conversation, the whole film demonstrates the power of reasonable doubt. Henry Fonda acts as the single dissenting voice among 11 other jurors who all feel the young boy is guilty. As the 96 minutes pan out, the jury review the evidence and the witness statements only to realise that what they thought was an open-and-shut case starts sprouting flaws and discrepancies. Watching Henry Fonda instil doubt and turn 11 jurors decisions from guilty to not guilty is truly genius.
The film was nominated for Best Director, Best Picture, Best Writing of Adapted Screenplay at the Academy Awards in 1958. Also, strangely enough, 11 of the actors that play the jurors in the film are now dead. There is even a 1997 remake of the film with Jack Lemmon in Henry Fonda’s role. But you should definitely watch this one first.
Look out for: When they discover the spectacle nose-markings on one of the witnesses.
Check out the trailer below.
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